wakey wakey hands off snakey
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
