you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
