So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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