you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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