mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
