Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
whose parrot is this?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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