we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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