Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
