You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
