By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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