oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
