Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
