I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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