haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
