had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
