so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
