Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
