Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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