Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
