3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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