whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
