Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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