don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
