dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize