everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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