So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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