I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
