So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
