She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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