well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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