I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
