We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i dont even know how to be here
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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