You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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