I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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