Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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