Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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