i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
