Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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