I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
