I'm jealous of your bromance
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
