He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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