She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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