Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
