soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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