in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
