we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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