well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
