He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
