Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can Purell be used as lube?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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