the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
