I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
