you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
