You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
