I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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