I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
