Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
