last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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