U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize