Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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