I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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